Fifty Moments of Miscommunication
by feathers and ash
Summary: RenRuki for 1sentence at LJ.


**#01 - Motion**

_I don't care how far I have to run, just as long as I know you're_ here,_ finally safe in my arms._

**#02 - Cool**

He hadn't gotten the tattoos just to look cool – though he knew that's what she thought, and he _saw_ the way she tried not to snicker – but secretly, it was the thought of her running her fingertips over them that made him shiver.

**#03 - Young**

As much as he'd detested the Rukongai, in some ways he almost wished he could go back – to when she was still young and innocent and content to sleep nestled perfectly against his side.

**#04 - Last**

"We'd never last anyway," he whispered harshly to himself, "only until she finally figured out that there was someone better out there."

**#05 - Wrong**

She hadn't anticipated that, in being accepted into a 'proper' family, she would give up the only _real_ family she'd ever had.

**#06 - Gentle**

Really, Renji thought, you _knew_ you'd picked an impossible goal when a member of _Division 11_ was looking at you with a gentle sort of pity in their eyes.

**#07 - One**

She'd refused to cry when the last of their friends died, when they were the only ones left; and the only way she could find relief was through Renji's hands on her shoulders, grasping so tightly it almost hurt – a silent promise that at least she wasn't alone.

**#08 - Thousand**

In a way, he envied Ichigo his mortality: _he_ wouldn't have to live through a thousand years just aching for her touch.

**#09 - King**

"You'd be part of the nobility too, if you were with her, and that wouldn't suit you at all," Yumichika appraised him quietly (and how he'd caught on to his feelings at all was utterly beyond Renji to begin with), "but the look in your eyes really is beautiful when you talk about her, and maybe that would make it worthwhile after all."

**#10 - Learn**

The first time he'd seen her in their academy uniform, he'd grabbed her up in a rough, impulsive hug -- _We made it, we made it, we're out_.

**#11 - Blur**

The almost-execution, the rescue and manic run to safety, Aizen's hand plunging into her chest – it all faded into a merciful blur, but the memory that stood out the strongest was Renji's heartbeat against her ear.

**#12 - Wait**

Renji didn't sleep at all for days after Kaien's death, waiting up all night as though he could stave off her nightmares himself, as though she'd sense him silently standing guard and let the knowledge soothe her mind.

**#13 - Change**

She'd never admit it, but Rukia was most relaxed when they bickered – for her, it was more than fury and spikes of indignation; it was a testament to the fact that some things really never change.

**#14 - Command**

"I really don't give a damn if he's my captain or not," Renji told her fiercely in response to her distressed scolding, "not when _you're_ what's at stake."

**#15 - Hold**

He'd been ready to unleash Zabimaru and forcibly break her out of prison even before he was certain she'd be executed; already the look in her eyes was half-dead and he was frantic to touch her, to crush her against him and _force_ her to remember how to breathe.

**#16 - Need**

He endured a thousand aches, a thousand wants (fingers slipping over skin and dark hair splayed over even-darker tattoos and small bodies shuddering under his touch), but the only thing he truly _needed_ was for her to finally turn around and _look_ at him.

**#17 - Vision**

His vision was clouded with wild hair and matching blood, with her running constantly through his mind's eye, and he knew that his pride would have to be the next thing to fall.

**#18 - Attention**

"You don't treat me differently now that I'm a Kuchiki," she said curiously, and when he burst out laughing at the idea (as if she could ever be anything different to him), her smile lit up her entire face.

**#19 - Soul**

_We'll become Soul Reapers_, she had said, and he hadn't even thought to argue: anything, to get her out of this hell (anything, to turn him into a man who might one day deserve her).

**#20 - Picture**

She'd been the picture of elegance as a child, and it never failed to make him laugh when she kicked some poor unsuspecting sod in the gut.

**#21 - Fool**

"I could have said anything, _anything_, to her, and instead I made a fool of myself going on about the nobles' goddamn _food_ -- but at least I was only foolish and not selfish too."

**#22 - Mad**

_You're not just a dog when it comes to that woman_, Zabimaru announced with a wild grin, _you're a_ rabid _dog, and we'll fuckin' tear apart the world fighting for her_.

**#23 - Child**

You couldn't see the harshness of the Rukongai on her the way you could see the harshness of being a Soul Reaper now; back then, she was still prone to randomly grabbing his hand with laughter bubbling in her throat, as though this was the only thing that mattered in her world.

**#24 - Now**

"What do we do now?" she asked him quietly, and he had no idea if she was talking about Aizen, or the fact they had both nearly died, or _them_; so he merely gave her a crooked smile and said that he didn't give a damn, he was just too glad they still had a _now_ at all.

**#25 - Shadow**

_She was always the bright one, and I was always the shadow – but I can't complain, if it means I can stand guard over her back._

**#26 - Goodbye**

"If for no other reason, I could kill Aizen myself for that," Renji hissed into her hair, hands clutching at her so desperately his knuckles had faded into white, "for trying to make me say goodbye to you."

**#27 - Hide**

Rukia had grown up assuming that she knew all of Renji's secrets, that he could _never_ keep anything from her; but now there was a darkness to his eyes that she couldn't quite decipher, and she was terrified of the way it sent shivers up her spine.

**#28 - Fortune**

She was infinitely grateful to Byakuya, for giving her what he had, but no amount of status or money could replace what she had _lost_.

**#29 - Safe**

He'd wanted nothing more than to stop running and lay her down, peeling away cloth to cover her with himself and every inch of her bared skin with his hands and lips; _anything_ to prove to her that she was still alive and loved and _safe_.

**#30 - Ghost**

She felt like a ghost there in his arms, small and fragile and fading to weightlessness; and he knew that they really hadn't saved her from death after all, not when ghosts were all she'd ever see.

**#31 - Book**

After finally getting Zabimaru to manifest, Renji flatly refused to tell Rukia about his form, knowing perfectly well that if he did, her books would soon be littered with wretchedly-drawn doodles of little primates.

**#32 - Eye**

For a week after getting his first tattoo, right above his eye, he kept his hair down and covering it while around her, stupidly nervous over what she'd think.

**#33 - Never**

He'd snapped that he wouldn't let go of her, instinctively clutching her even tighter to his chest, and she shuddered as she understood the implications – he wouldn't, and he really never had.

**#34 - Sing**

In a way, Zabimaru understood more than Renji gave him credit for, and he knew his primary duty was to sing for the blood of anyone who threatened that one tiny woman.

**#35 - Sudden**

He still slept fitfully, jerking into sudden wakefulness at the slightest noise, a habit ingrained from childhood and countless hours spent soothing her after nightmares.

**#36 - Stop**

_How can he not see that he needs to stop, that I'm not worth fighting for…that I'm not afraid of death, but I'm terrified to feel him slipping away?_

**#37 - Time**

He swore again and again that this time would be different, that he'd finally _jump_; but still nothing changed, and he was still the stray dog somehow revolving around the stars.

**#38 - Wash**

She knew she'd never wash the blood from her hands, but when he grabbed her wrists and kissed her palms, she at least found a moment's peace.

**#39 - Torn**

_Even when I'm broken and torn to pieces like this, there's still not enough of me to wrap around her and shelter her from the world._

**#40 - History**

_'She changed his life' my ass – she_ is _my life, and always fuckin' has been._

**#41 - Power**

"We're gonna beat him, Zabimaru," Renji announced quietly, "because I figure that if I can finally surpass him, I'll prove I'm worthy of being her family myself."

**#42 - Bother**

"Does it bother you, if I touch them like this?" Rukia asked as she trailed experimental fingers over his tattoos, and she mistakenly took the way he bit down on his lower lip as a _yes_.

**#43 - God**

_If we both became gods, then what the hell is she, that she's still so far above me?_

**#44 - Wall**

_I'd've caught your hand – I'd've caught_ you – _but suddenly, somehow, everything was in the way._

**#45 - Naked**

The Shinigami Women's Association spent a _ridiculous_ amount of time debating just how _much_ of Renji was tattooed, and Rukia nearly flailed as hard as Inoue when they looked at her as though she was supposed to have the answers.

**#46 - Drive**

_I thought all you cared about was getting stronger, that that mattered more to you than – well, than anything else_, she told him quietly, and he was torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to _shake_ her – how had she missed the fact that the only reason he wanted to get stronger was for _her_?

**#47 - Harm**

_It's no goddamn wonder I'm an irritable bastard_, Renji wanted to snap, _when it seems like half the fucking world is trying to kill the woman I love_.

**#48 - Precious**

Even though she was a Kuchiki, even though she was nobility now, that knowledge still couldn't compare to the way she felt when Renji fixed his eyes on her.

**#49 - Hunger**

_Fuck, I thought we were starved as kids, but that was nothing,_ nothing_, compared to this – at least then, I could still fold her right into my arms._

**#50 – Believe**

The words were muffled into his chest, but Renji still felt them all the way to his core – "Sometimes I think you're the only thing I can really believe in, because you're the only thing I know will never leave."


End file.
